Rejection. It is something we all must go through. It is a part of life and a cross we all must carry from time to time. Jesus had to endure it regularly until it finally reached the intensity of His crucifixion.
St. Paul also dealt with it on a regular basis. In his second letter to the Corinthians, he points out that it is clear to him that Christ is the one who was actually writing the letter. Paul was just a vessel. Of his letter, he said it was, “written not with ink, but with the spirit of the living God, and not on stone tablets, but on the human hearts.” (2Cor 3:2-3). Those words remind us of St. Paul also saying, “It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me.” (Gal 2:20). Christ is writing, teaching, suffering and being rejected because He is united to St. Paul. Understanding that can cause our hearts to be stirred up for God when we read that through St. Paul God wrote, “WE have opened our hearts wide. It is not WE who have closed our hearts to you; it is you who have closed your hearts to US. I speak now as though you were my children; show US the same feelings that we have for you. Open your hearts wide.” (2Cor 6:11-13). After citing all the ways they ( God and Paul) had been rejected, they are pleading for the people to love them. Why? Because they want what’s best for the Corinthians both here and in eternity.
We can learn much by how Jesus and Paul handled rejection.
FIRST LESSON
They were honest with their feelings. Paul wrote about the great sadness he felt. In His life Jesus wept, loved, showed fear and righteous anger. God gave us our feelings for a reason. A great deal of information can be gained by taking the time to recognize them. We shouldn’t push them aside and attempt to ignore or bury them. The longer we delay, the more they can fester, thus making it harder to heal. We shouldn’t be quick to act upon our feelings, but we should always be quick to pray about and discern them. If we bury our feelings, we can never grow in knowing the true authentic self that can come about from discerning them and, as Paul teaches us, from learning about the heart of Jesus. The more we know Jesus, the more we will always grow in knowing our true, authentic self.
SECOND LESSON
After they looked at their feelings, Jesus and Paul took the focus off self and placed it on the people that rejected them. Jesus focused on us. Paul focused on the Corinthians. Continuing to focus on self can only bring negative consequences. Feelings such as anger and resentment can grow if we feed our sorrowful heart. By taking the focus off self and onto the other, we can grow in love and mercy. As we try to understand the heart of the one who has wounded us, our hearts begin to soften and thus, we keep the door open to God. This is only possible in prayer. In union with God, who is the only one who can see the heart, our hearts can soften. “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1Samuel 16:7). Softening our hearts towards someone who has rejected us may seem too difficult to try, but with God, all things are possible. The alternative is a closed heart that grows in negative feelings and, thus, closes itself off from hearing God in all areas of their lives. Is anything really worth that?
THIRD LESSON
The closer we are to someone, the greater the hurt if we are rejected, but we never lose by loving. God is love. Experiencing great love is experiencing a great union with the one who is love. We should never regret love and if we are rejected and put our focus on the perpetrator of the rejection and not on ourselves, the love can still grow. It is now a deeper love that can grow towards the perpetrator and towards all people in general because it has now taken on a great sacrifice of finding mercy in spite of the pain. We can certainly see this happened with Jesus. We can see it with Paul as well. In spite of his many rejections, Paul is known as the Apostle of Love.
Once we deal with the circumstances of our specific rejection, we can focus on three constant truths that we should, in fact, always keep in mind.
LESSON ONE
We know we are always loved. Jesus came knowing He would be put to death, but it was worth it to Him because it was the means to make us part of His family. He loved us and that means that no matter what rejection we may have to endure, we are a part of God’s loving family.
LESSON TWO
God never leaves us. Others can leave, but nothing can separate us from God’s love. “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above nor the world below—there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39). St. Paul knew that in all that happened, he was not alone. He would never be rejected by God. They were together as one. He knew God’s promise was solid. “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
LESSON THREE
The Holy Trinity loves us so much that They chose to live inside of us always! In that constant companionship we are always given what we need to accomplish God’s will. We know that we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” us (Phil 4:13). To be able to follow our paths knowing God will accomplish all that is needed through us and that He will never leave us is a great comfort. It only becomes scary and overwhelming when we think we are on our own. Paul knew this truth and we must know it as well.
Rejection is inevitable. It is what we do with it that can make a tremendous heartache a gift of greater love. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18). I hope that the next time you feel rejected, you will consider how Jesus and Paul together dealt with it and hold onto the truth that we are loved so much that God made us a part of His family, never leaves us and because of that constant union, that we can accomplish all things… including the rejection of our neighbors.
Prayerful Reflections
Spend some time reflecting on all the bolded segments and scripture passages. With each prayerful reflection, talk to God. Give Him your heart. Then sit in silence and allow Him to give you His.